reflection on time

these days whenever I get home two thoughts come to mind. first is the realization that im much more awake than i was when i left, second, is time. the second thought is always triggered by the sight of my dad. he always somehow despite his condition, manages to greet me on his feet. countless 2-4 seconds of memories from when i was a child with him lighting firecrackers in dark parks in argentina to most recently him standing outside making asado this past thanksgiving break, pass through me. then the similar question of how such a strong man has become so broken hits me. from here, throughout the rest of my day, begins my reflections on time. i figured i would write some of them down for record's sake. furthermore, i figured i would write more frequently for sanity's sake as well.

i don't quite know why the memory of lighting firecrackers in dark parks is the first picture i see. my guess so far is because on that night, specifically on this one night, i was very happy. now, there have been other instances where i've been happy throughout my childhood. so why this one? then i rememberer that on this special night... its one of the earliest moment i can ever remember where my dad and I did something together with equal joy. there haven't been many other memories i figured where we literally held hands and individually partook in creating colorful lights.
when i keep on reflecting on that night, more things come to light. we were poor, firecrackers back then were pricey. work for my parents ended late, and it was also late; he never had the habit of doing such "childish" things, i was.
i realize that even one action done a long time ago, with time it gains value. much more value than i could have ever imagined. i thouoght i was happy on that night; but in truth, im more overjoyed and thankful now.
then this humbles me and reminds of of God.
Fathers...have a habit of using time for a greater purpose. whether my dad knew it on that night or not, him lighting firecrackers with me, taught me how to do it the next day. this goes likewise for God too, only difference being that He is aware of how the snowball will roll down the hill.
of course i believe that time has a characteristic of messing things up more as well. while a good wine gets better with time (they say), other types of food rot. for the sake of time, i hope to write more on this matter on my next post. since unfortunately, among those 3-4 second clips, not all of them are like wine.
Dear God,

thank you for time...

- Dae