the rest of this entry may get lengthy so i'll keep this short, but i've been going through some hard times at home with my family and to be honest, with daegyu. It's been a rough, painful, and confusing summer but at this very moment, i've never felt so at peace in my heart and hungry for the love of the Lord.
I never liked reading. It was only something i did during those desperate times I needed help falling asleep. But last week, daegyu bribed me to read "Blue Like Jazz". i told him i didn't want to because i'm stubborn but deep inside, but to my surprise, i was smiling with excitement.
Reading this book was like finding a new friend. In the beginning Don was weird. Even though i was in my room reading alone, Don, his friends, and I had awkward moments. But something inside nudged me to keep giving him another chance.
In the end, he made me cry and we, although he does not know yet, are best friends. I'm super thankful for him. Don and his many friends really opened my eyes to the "hollow" feeling in my heart that had me going crazy.
To list all my thoughts & lessons i learned may cause an error on this page. So i'll keep it simple. The 3 lessons that are beginning to overflow my hollow heart are:
1. i need to get to know Jesus
2. i need to love myself
3. i need to love others
Dear God,
Thank you for Don and his friends. I want to get to know Jesus. I'm so ashamed to say that although i've called myself a christian for 22 years, I've never made the effort to actually get to know Him. I believe that getting to know Him will have me in awe and deeply in love with Jesus. Only then, will i be able to love myself for He has loved me. It will teach me how to accept love and only then, will i be able to love others. Lord help me to love Jesus and get to know Him and have the most intimate relationship with Him. Help me to love myself, learn to let my guard down and die to my stubborn ways so that i can accept love from you and others. In return, help me to share that love with the people of this world. Lord, help me to stop blaming others for my problems for i am my worst enemy. Lord, teach me the beauty of love, especially the love you poured out to us on the cross.
- your beloved daughter Sharon
2 comments:
Strange.. parts of your blog sounds like me thinking to myself. I’ve been feeling the same as you. Life doesn’t make sense sometimes & I wonder if it’s b.c my relationship w. God has.. drifted. Of course I keep Him in my heart always, but I haven’t been trying hard enough..
If you EVER need a shoulder to lean on, cry on.. or just need someone to vent to, don't you hesitate to call me. You know I'd never judge you, no matter what.
God won't give you anything that you cannot handle. So stay strong & keep your head up, sister. Prayer works in mysterious ways, so for that reason, I will say a little prayer for you, Sharbear.
At least you're trying, right? [:
When ya have a minute, listen to "Best Friend" by Puff Daddy & Mario Winans. They made that song for the Lord & I think you'll enjoy it.
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